


Hope There's Someone

by Whispering_Sumire



Series: Antony & The Johnsons [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Aunty Bad Touch, Confessions, Crying, Depression, Derek Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Guilt, Hugs, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Slash, Prologue, Sad, and he gets one, because Kate was a very bad lady
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 11:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13973691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whispering_Sumire/pseuds/Whispering_Sumire
Summary: Boyd and Erica are dead, the Alphas have retreated for now, planning their next move or waiting for Derek to make his. Jennifer has been sent home for her own safety. Isaac is with Scott, as he so often is, nowadays, and Derek can't really blame him. He has no idea where Peter is. And he just feels so empty, so numb, so lost.He hears footsteps, shoes sloshing through water, a hummingbird heart, slow breathing, the smell of medicine and sugar-spice and stress.Stiles.





	Hope There's Someone

Boyd and Erica are dead, the Alphas have retreated for now, planning their next move or waiting for Derek to make his. Jennifer has been sent home for her own safety. Isaac is with Scott, as he so often is, nowadays, and Derek can't really blame him. He has no idea where Peter is. And he just feels so empty, so numb, so lost.

His first Pack he'd failed by being an idiot kid who didn't know any better, but should've, god how he should've.

His second Pack he had failed by acting like he knew what he was doing when he was balefully ignorant, by assuming that frail memories and instinct would be enough when he truthfully had no _fucking clue_ what he was doing.

He was never meant to be an Alpha.

He couldn't be Packless.

It was his damned selfishness, his selfishness in wanting someone to love him and hold him after Paige, his selfishness in wanting a Pack, a family again even after all he'd lost. His selfishness getting everyone he loves and cares for killed.

He hears footsteps, shoes sloshing through water, a hummingbird heart, slow breathing, the smell of medicine and sugar-spice and stress.

Stiles.

Why is Stiles here? Stiles belongs to Scott, who is more Alpha than Beta, honestly. Stiles has his own Pack and no reason at all to be here.

Although, to be fair, Stiles is always the one, isn't he? The one saving him? Even though he hates, or at least, tentatively dislikes Derek most days.

And there he is, standing in front of him, frowning. Derek knows he makes a pitiful picture like this, sitting on the edge of his bed, head hanging low, body still tacky with dried blood. He doesn't even know how much of it is his and how much of it is Boyd's.

"Derek," Stiles says softly.

Derek can't bring himself to look up, he can barely bring himself to breathe.

He wishes someone would just end this already.

"I was sixteen," he begins, because really, what's the point of keeping it a secret anymore? Is there anyone left who will even care enough to hate him for what he's done? "And she was older than me, but she was gorgeous and confident and sure of herself. It was so easy to fall in love with her. She'd ask me things, sometimes, or even, push, just a bit harder than I'd like. I look back on it now and I see the red-flags, I see the consent issues, I see where the lines blurred between relationship and abuse. And worse, I see _when_ , the exact moment when she had _all_ the information she needed. Her eyes lit up and it was the first time she'd kissed me like maybe it really meant something.

"She told me she loved me. She asked me to make love to her. And the very next day she laughed as my family burned alive."

"Jesus Christ, Derek." Stiles' voice sounds thick and wet and awful and Derek wonders what he's going to do now, with this information. Not that it matters much anyway. And then Stiles' arms are wrapping around his head, pulling him in and hugging him to his stomach. His body beginning to shake as he drags trembling fingers through Derek's hair.

"It was my fault," Derek tells him, voice sounding distant and so, so far away. He thinks he hears Stiles choke on a sob, "when will I stop being made to kill the people I love? I just want to stop, Stiles. I want to _stop_ , now."

"Oh, Der," Stiles sighs in a tremulous little voice, and he sounds so much like Laura in that moment that Derek has to squeeze his eyes shut tight against the burn in them.

It's been _so long_ since anyone has called him that.

The tears, he thinks, are inevitable, no matter how valiantly he tries to fight them. The small, burning whimper that escapes his throat makes Stiles whine in return.

"No, don't cry," but he can't stop, the floodgates are already open. All he can do now is wrap his arms around Stiles' middle and bury his face there while he tries to ride the wave of grief and pain that has overtaken him, that's _drowning him_. And he knows he must be hurting Stiles, clutching as hard as he is, knows his claws are piercing the boy's shirt and his arms may even be inflicting bruises, but he can't, he can't stop. He's falling apart and this is all he has left to hold onto, this boy who came back for him, who, even after hearing everything is still there, who reminds him of his big sister and, maybe, the man Peter used to be, who called him _Der_ , who's holding onto _him_.

"Shh, fuck, Derek. Derek, _jesus_."

And then, without any further preamble, Stiles toes off his shoes, and, managing not to dislodge Derek's arms, climbs into bed with him and lays them both down. Derek half on top of him, curled into his side, weeping pathetically into his shoulder. But Stiles just holds him, his whole body shaking, smelling of just as much grief and sadness as Derek is, but he doesn't cry any more than he already has.

He wouldn't, because Stiles is good at taking care of people, and he does better when he has someone who needs him, it gives him a foundation to work off of, a reason to be strong. There's a reason he's co-dependant on Scott the way he is.

Derek manages to fall asleep, face crusty with tears and blood and this long, terrible day. He falls asleep to the sound of a song he doesn't know, lilty-hum, sweet melody, somehow comforting despite the fact that the words are just as depressing as everything else that's happened, being sung sweetly into his ear as long, pale fingers thread through his hair and rough, chewed fingernails scrape against his scalp.

It's the easiest sleep, and longest, he's had in a long, long while.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Hope There's Someone (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17177717) by [AiJamaisFacil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiJamaisFacil/pseuds/AiJamaisFacil)




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